noun [kee-smash] a random string of letters and symbols typed out on a keyboard or touchscreen, used to signal intense emotion in written communication:
With July coming to a close, my country is heading into 1.5 years of this Covid-19 pandemic and things are actually getting worse every day. We are seeing a sudden rise in covid cases and death rates; every day there are 10,000+ positive cases and death tolls seem to be constantly over 200. The whole country has been in lockdown for most of the month, but still things haven’t been improving much.
Half-way into the year, and I cannot help but feel a little nostalgic. Being the kind of overly emotional and sentimental woman that I am, I spent the past few days going through my old journals and going through how much I have changed in the past 5 years.
They say that if you don’t cringe at who you were in the past, then you have not matured at all. Well, if that is the case, then I am definitely a lot more mature now than I once had been. 😅
I am super late to do a wrap up post for the past month, but April has been full of so many little achievements that I want to write about all that I did. Future me can read this post to feel inspired on her bad days.
To begin with, I started blogging more or less regularly again this April. And that in itself is a huge accomplishment, considering I had practically given up on it last year. Back then, I told myself I needed a long, long hiatus to take care of my mental health.
It wasn’t exactly a lie, but neither was it the complete truth. In reality, I was finding it hard to cope with the pressures of working a full-time job for the first time while also adjusting and learning new things the job required of me. Then there was the matter of trying to find time for myself and my family; trying to heal after a rather disappointing breakup, and coping with the loss of not one but several puppies and kittens.
All this while also dealing with the global pandemic.
Continue reading “Monthly Wrap Up: April 2021”If you are reading this, please support #BlackLivesMatter by donating to these organizations.
I’ve been somewhat quiet all this time because I was afraid that my small bubble on the internet wouldn’t do any good. All I’ve been doing to show my support is retweeting links to organizations people can donate to, because there isn’t anything more that I can do.
Continue reading “Dear Brown Asians, Stop Comparing Your Struggles To Those Of Black People”
A global pandemic aside, 2020 was supposed to be a year of challenges for me anyway. After all, this year marks the beginning of a new, terrifying chapter for me: adulthood, and all the responsibilities that come along with it.
Continue reading “Transitioning From Young Adult To Adult”It’s good to be back (again).
I had a rough start to this year, so I really needed the break. I won’t lie, I always feel strangely guilty whenever I take a break from blogging. It feels almost sacrilege, which is absurd because this is just a blog. This is just my own tiny bubble on the internet, where I feel almost completely at ease to share whatever is on my mind. There is a comfort in knowing that I can express my thoughts freely from behind a screen, where no one who knows me in real life would try to interpret the meaning of my words just so they can fit me in the narrative they’ve written for me.
That sounds harsher than I intended it to. What I really mean is that when you interact with someone in person, you form an impression of them. And even if your first impressions are not your lasting impressions, you will still unconsciously try to fit them in a stereotype, or at the very least you will unintentionally put labels on them, for no other reason than it helps you make sense of that person better. We are all guilty of this to some extent, but here, on this blog, I don’t have to be afraid of being labelled. Of being finite.
I have personal issues with being labelled, but that’s a story for later.
As I was saying—I was meaning to return to blogging in January and then in February, but given how things were going for me I realized that It just wasn’t the right time yet. One of the most important lessons I learned last year is prioritizing. This year, after losing a friend, after watching my father’s health deteriorate day by day (and realizing that part of his carelessness about his own health is because of his mental health issues), opening a bakery which comes with its own equal share of excitement and stress, starting my final year at university, dealing with my own mental health, and a million other things…yeah blogging was not my priority.
Looking back at my younger self though, I have to admit, I am doing much better than I have had in years. Despite everything, I am coping, and definitely knowing what needs to be done first has helped me a lot.
I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are reading this, and you are disappointed in yourself for not being able to follow whatever plans you have set for yourself to the dot—then take a deep breath and stop. You don’t have to do everything at once. Just focus on what’s truly important, and try to choose something that brings you joy. Best of luck. You got this.
This is quite possibly the strangest thing to have happened to me.
See I am usually a nice person. Not necessarily very nice–I am human, I have my bad days, and sometimes I know I am not really a nice person even when I am not having a bad day (no one’s perfect). But usually, I am polite. Maybe a little too quiet (because I am introverted) which people sometimes mistake for snobbishness, but really it’s only because I am shy and awkward.
But most days–I am nice. And in the past three years, I cannot recall a single moment when I have been anything but nice to the person this post is about: my hater.
Continue reading “I have a hater and this is what he taught me”(Let’s pretend it’s Sunday okay?)
I am not quite sure how long I am going to go on with this vanishing and reappearing act on my blog, but here I am reappearing after vanishing for the entire month of October. Anyway, here’s a quick wrap of of the first week of November for me:
Gosh I feel terrible.
I am so sorry to start this post on such a bad note. I have been feeling really sick lately, but being the idiot I am, I ignored it and went about my daily routine instead of taking things easy and taking care of my health. And now my body is literally taking revenge on me. Ooops.
Around the end of every month, it’s almost tradition to take a moment to pause and have a look back. August this year was an emotional roller coaster ride due to all the chaos that has been happening in my country, as well as due to some personal incidents too. It was a month during which I thought I wouldn’t be able to do much good…but in the end, it turned out that I did manage to achieve most of my goals this month.