Grief And Other Uncomfortable Things
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Grief And Other Uncomfortable Things

Trigger Warning: This post discusses the death of a friend.

It’s more than just a little difficult to write these thoughts down, so I’ll do the best I can and leave it as it is, so that a future version of me can come back and read this post and see how far I have come.

If I thought 2023 was hard, well 2024 has been tougher. It seems that ever since the year started, I have been dealing with one blow after another.

But one that really pushed me off the axis was the death of a dear friend last month.

It was so unexpected, but I suppose in these cases, a loss like that is never really foreseen. Still, I cannot help but think of all the future plans we had made, all the things we said we would do and put off for later.

Except now, none of those things will ever come to be.

I am grateful for everyone who gave me the time and space I needed to heal. And I am grateful for the people in my life who I grew closer to during the whole ordeal. I lost my friend, but before he left, he made sure that I would be surrounded by some of the softest, kindest souls to ever walk on this planet.

And I know that even though we are all moving forward with our lives every day, his memory is still alive in our minds. We keep putting one foot in front of the other, we go live our daily routines and do what needs to be done because time never stops for anyone. But even as we do, we remember him in every little thing–when we try a new Indian place downtown, when we win a business competition, when we go somewhere or new cook up something special for dinner.

Every time I find myself hesitating to do something out of my comfort zone, I ask myself what he would do.

And I guess in this way, he still lives on.

Misfit Muslim Musings: My Problems With Organized Religion
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My Problems With Organized Religion

I have been drafting this blog post for what has been months now. Even though this website is my safe space, it’s a little difficult to find the courage to talk about something as controversial as my problems with organized religion. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a traditional and conservative Muslim society. Maybe it’s because in general Southeast Asian communities tend to be unaccepting of ideas that question their norms. Either way, my complicated relationship with Islam is a topic that I have always wanted to talk about but found very few people willing to hear me out.

So, here it goes.

Problems With Organized Religion Blog Banner Showing a Girl Watching The Sun Set Over A City

~5 Big Problems With Organized Religion~

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Patiently Persevering
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Patiently Persevering: Things I Am Learning

The first week of 2024 is over, and honestly, it feels a little surreal. There’s so much that I want from this year. I have so many hopes, dreams, and prayers that are waiting to be answered in 2024.

It’s been more than five months since I last saw my parents, and while I think I have learned to accept that maybe this is how it has to be for another year or so, I can feel how much they miss me even across the sea.

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2023 Year In Review written on a pink backdrop.
Stray Thoughts, Home, Wrap Up Posts

2023 Year In Review

The end of every year is always such a sentimental time for me. I am introspective by nature, so of course on New Year’s Eve I will be sitting alone in my room, slightly tipsy on a few glasses of wine, lofi music playing on the background while I reflect on everything that has happened to write my 2023 year in review.

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Stray Thoughts, Home

Today And Forevermore, Tell The Story Of Palestine

It’s been one month of endless bombings in Gaza. One month of endless killing and destruction of civilians for the alleged purpose of eliminating a handful of terrorists. One month of debating whether the lives of 8000+ children justify avenging 200 hostages. One month of not acknowledging the actual world powers who have so much to gain from the erasure and colonization of Palestine.

One month of one of the wealthiest nations in the world, with the most advanced military technology, methodically crushing the lives of people whose only self-defense is homemade rocket missiles. People who were banned from using the colors red, black, white, and green, and so they have resorted to using watermelons as a symbol of their resistance and defiance.

One month of protestors coming out in tens of thousands, rallying on the streets and demanding ceasefire. One month of the news and media outlets refusing to cover these protests. One month of Spain, Australia and Ireland directly speaking up for Palestinians; even North Korea had voted to send immediate relief to Palestinians at the UN before being vetoed by USA.

What kind of poeple say no relief for victims of a genocide?

I wonder if the day will ever come when I will be able to make sense of all this senseless violence. When I will have the utmost privilege of understanding even a fraction of God’s plan.

He is infinite. A month to him is less than a moment. The Quran says 6 billion years to Him is like 6 days.

But surely the lives that are being brutally snuffed out mean more than that?

We have failed our children in the worst possible ways and the only shred of peace and comfort I can find is how, atleast this time, we are not speechless. At least for once we are not silent.

We will keep telling the story of Palestine for generations to come. I want to scream from the river to the sea, but my heart fears that Palestine will never be free. But even if my fears come true, I know that we will still remember them, their stories, their resilience and we will the future generations about them year after year after years and that is how they will always live on.

Genocide In Palestine
Home, Misfit Muslim Musings, Stray Thoughts

Why The Genocide In Palestine Hits So Close To Home

The past few weeks have been…well, to say that the ongoing genocide in Palestine isn’t affecting me would be a complete lie. I wish I wasn’t so sensitive to these things, but as it happens I think I might need to step away from the internet for a while and disappear into fictional places. I understand that’s a very privileged thing to say, but I am well aware that the fact that I can write these words down without fearing for my life, in the comfort and the safety of a house that is not under the threat of being bombed, that in and of itself is a great luxury.

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Life Updates: Moving To A New Country, Grad Studies, And Lots Of Angry Geese
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Life Updates: Moving To A New Country, Grad Studies, And Lots Of Angry Geese

Hello again after a looong time friends! I have long ago stopped sharing my reasons for sudden hiatuses (after all, my blog, my space, my rules), but just this once, I am excited to actually write up a full blog post about why exactly I have been away for so long.

And the reason is this: after a whole year of careful planning and preparing, I have finally moved to Canada for my graduate studies! 🥳

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2023 Midyear Check-In
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2023 Midyear Check-In: Overcoming One Big Crisis After Another

Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith, is when it’s tested again and again everyday.

This one above is a lyric from a song by Fall Out Boy that I have always been able to relate to, and in 2023, it seems to be hitting home harder than usual. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I have had a lot of wonderful things happen to me this year. But with every month that passes, it seems that most of my time and energy are being spent in overcoming one big crisis after another.

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Dealing With Imposter Syndrome
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Dealing With Imposter Syndrome

When no one ever really expects anything from you, you kind of end up growing up not really believing that you have any potential for anything good. At least, that’s what my experience was.

It wasn’t until I was 16 when I did something somewhat good enough to make my family proud, and suddenly people started to have all these unrealistic expectations from my capabilities.

For the longest time it really bugged me. No matter how hard I tried, I could never explain to anybody that I have always had to put in double the effort just to be average. 

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Sims 4 Grunge Revival Kit Review
The Sims 4, Home, Stray Thoughts

Sims 4 Grunge Revival Kit Review

Two new kits for Sims 4 are out now, and if you are looking for an honest Sims 4 Grunge Revival Kit review, you are in the right place! 

As someone who had an angsty teenage phase growing up, I was really looking forward to this new kit. And while I do feel that the items are a bit too limited this time around–even the previously released kits had a lot more CAS items–I am quite happy with what we’ve got. Here’s my review of Sims 4 Grunge Revival Kit.

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