Half-way into the year, and I cannot help but feel a little nostalgic. Being the kind of overly emotional and sentimental woman that I am, I spent the past few days going through my old journals and going through how much I have changed in the past 5 years.
They say that if you don’t cringe at who you were in the past, then you have not matured at all. Well, if that is the case, then I am definitely a lot more mature now than I once had been. 😅
Growing up, I have always been a dreamer, and that is something that has not changed. I realize now that in my own way, I have pursued the degree and career that is very much aligned with my passion for writing and creativity, even when it seemed impossible. And I am proud of myself for that.
As the eldest daughter in my family from a third world South Asian country, it was drilled into me that I had to be practical, and realistic. It’s why my father made me switch to subjects related to commerce and business back in A levels, it’s why I went for a BBA degree for my undergrad.
Back then I was worried of becoming like my father, working a desk job that I hated all for the sake of providing for myself and my family. I know that I have my responsibilities, but I am too selfish to sacrifice my happiness by choosing a job that pays well but does not spark joy in me.
And the only kind of job that can actually bring me joy is one where I get to be creative, and one where I can do what I love doing the most: reading and writing.
That’s why I chose marketing as my major. That’s why I chose to be a content writer. And although I know that this is not the life my parents envisioned for me, I am proud of myself for working my way up to where I am now.
I guess to put it simply, I have learned how to put myself first instead of holding myself responsible for other people’s dreams.
There is still a long way for me to go. I am nowhere close to the woman I had hoped to be when I was 20. But if there is one piece of wisdom I have earned over the years is that life is not a race to the finish line; there are no winners and we are not really competing against each other even though that’s what society would have you believe.
At the end of the day, what matters is that I get to where I want to go. No matter how long it takes.