When no one ever really expects anything from you, you kind of end up growing up not really believing that you have any potential for anything good. At least, that’s what my experience was.
It wasn’t until I was 16 when I did something somewhat good enough to make my family proud, and suddenly people started to have all these unrealistic expectations from my capabilities.
For the longest time it really bugged me. No matter how hard I tried, I could never explain to anybody that I have always had to put in double the effort just to be average.
I have never had talent. I have never been brilliant. I just keep working myself to the bone.
And in spite of all that, when I do end up achieving anything at all, there’s still this lingering question in my mind that wonders if I deserved it at all.
It took me a long time to figure it out, but I was suffering from Imposter Syndrome. I might have just started my career, but every time I got a promotion or increment people have questioned my capabilities, and for a long time, I questioned myself too.
It wasn’t until a couple months ago that I slowly learned to recognize myself for who I really was, and discovered things about myself I didn’t know I had before. I had to change my entire thought process, and change my perspective on things to do it. Dealing with Imposter Syndrome at work hasn’t been easy, but over time, I have had to remind myself that if I wasn’t meant for something, the opportunity never would have presented itself to me in the first place.
Instead of letting my insecurities influence my opinions, I started to look into quantifiable actions. I started measuring my own days by actions that I took, and I paid attention to what others were doing as well.
This new way of looking at things led to two different amazing discoveries: I became more aware of all the things that I could improve and work on, and at the same time, I became more aware of the things that I was already good at.
It’s very easy to lose sight of yourself when people try to fit you within a box. It’s very easy to believe that you are not worthy or good enough when the person you look up to keeps trying to limit you.
But it’s also important to remember that you don’t have to be defined by others around you.
If we can put so much power into the negative thoughts that plague us…why cannot we put the same kind of power into our positive thoughts instead?