My Master's Journey As An International Student
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My Master’s Journey As An International Student

With my convocation happening, I cannot help but take a moment to look back on the last two years of my life, on my journey as an international student in Canada.

It’s a little funny–as a reader and a book reviewer, I always talk a lot about how important character growth is. Most of my favorite books are the ones where the characters have changed so much throughout the events that they are hardly recognizable, even when their core values remain the same.

I feel that way right now, as I try to remember the person I used to be before I left my homeland, and everything changed.

While I am still the starry-eyed girl with big dreams, I have also become someone completely new. Someone who waits more patiently, someone who bites her tongue instead of letting her temper flare. Someone who enjoys silence and solitude, but is still appreciative of good company.

When I came to Canada in 2023, there were many culture shocks that I had to adjust to. In the beginning, most of it were good and quirky changes that I took in stride. But with time, I started to notice the little micro-aggressions, the invisible divide in the classroom between those who were privileged enough to be born and raised here and those who were fresh off the boat plane.

There was this strange feeling, of being at home. And yet, I felt like I did not belong. I fell in love with the streets of London, Ontario. I adored the tiny bedroom I had rented that was the size of my bathroom back in Dhaka. I learned to love grocery shopping and making my own meals. And yet I missed the colors and the sounds of the city I was born in. I missed the festivities, the crazy traffic, and the simple joy of hearing conversations in my mother tongue all around me. I missed the comfort of coming home to a house that I did not have to clean, a table full of food I did not have to cook, and rooms full of my loved ones who I now know that I had taken for granted.

Being an international student means home is no longer a place, but a feeling. And I felt both the presence and the absence of a home, every single day.

There was a lot of laughter in these past two years. I have made friendships that would carry me through some of the worst days of my life. I found a love that brings me joy and peace every single day. But there were harder days too.

There were so many moments of self-doubt and second-guessing. More than once, I wondered if I had made the right choice. The economy was so bad when I came, that I couldn’t land a part-time job to support myself as I promised my family I would. But my parents never held it against me–even though it was difficult for them, they made sure that I would be okay.

The guilt of that hasn’t left me yet. The guilt of leaving my loved ones behind to build a life for myself. It was probably the most selfish decision I have ever made–I didn’t need to take such a big risk. I had a wonderful, well-paying job in Dhaka, my career was progressing quickly, and I had more than enough for myself and my family. To give all of that up, just for my own personal dream of moving to a new country, was an extremely selfish decision on my part, considering the burden it put on my family.

The stress of having a daughter alone in a foreign country with no one to care for her put so much pressure on my parents, that they aged 10 years within the first six months of my being in Canada. And I wasn’t there for it. I couldn’t be there when my mother was hospitalized for a week for dengue. I couldn’t be there when my father had a stroke. My little sister had to step up and take on the burden of being the glue that kept my family together.

And when the July Revolution happened in 2024, when all of Bangladesh was cut off completely from the rest of the world during a week-long, nationwide telecommunications shutdown, I understood for the first time the price that I had paid for leaving home.

I cannot say I would do it all over again. I cannot say I have no regrets. But for what it’s worth, I am incredibly grateful for every experience I have had so far. My time at Ivey Business School helped me figure out where I wanted to take my career, but more than that, it made me understand the kind of people I wanted to surround myself with. And my time beyond Ivey was just as impactful–there are some lessons in life you simply cannot learn in a classroom. And I am grateful I got to experience it all.

Because all of those experiences shaped the person writing this blog post today. And I like this person. She is kinder now, but she is also more resilient. She is wiser now, but she no longer berates herself when she makes a mistake. I think she will go on to do amazing things in the days to come.

8 Things I Loved About Between Two Moons by Aisha Abdel Gawad
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8 Things I Loved About Between Two Moons by Aisha Abdel Gawad

I have been thinking a lot about Between Two Moons by Aisha Abdel Gawad lately, especially given that we are entering 9 months of a genocide that is being broadcasted live but NOTHING is being done to bring it to an end. I want to write a thoughtful piece that can explain why the world is so eager to dehumanize us, but I cannot seem to find the words.

But Aisha Abdel Gawad did. In her debut novel, an unforgettable coming-of-age story about what is like to grow up as an immigrant Muslim girl, she captures the realities of Arab and Muslim communities in the most authentic ways. If you haven’t already picked up this book, here are some reasons why you should read Between Two Moons by Aisha Abdel Gawad.

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Favorite Platonic Relationships In Books
Book Corner, Home, Other Bookish Stuff, Top 10 Tuesday

10 Favorite Platonic Relationships In Books

Welcome back to Top 10 Tuesday again friends! This week’s prompt is a throwback freebie, and the prompt that I picked is Favorite Platonic Relationships in Books. After all, even though I love me some swoon-worthy romance, it’s always the best friend pairing that makes or breaks a story!

~ 10 Favorite Platonic Relationships In Books ~

For those who don’t know, Top 10 Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme originally created by The Broke and The Bookish and now hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl. It’s a wonderful way to find new bloggers, so if you are participating in the weekly meme, make sure to share your post in the comments below so I can check them out.

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The Meaning of Sacrifice On Eid-Ul-Adha
Home, Misfit Muslim Musings, Stray Thoughts

The Meaning of Sacrifice On Eid-Ul-Adha

This year, being far away from home means that when it comes to celebrating religious events like Eid-Ul-Adha, I would be spending the whole day with my beautiful, wonderful friends–most of whom are non-Muslims–instead of with people from my community. Of course, it also meant that I had to explain to them the meaning of sacrifice on Eid-Ul-Adha.

To those unaware, Eid-Ul-Fitr and Eid-Ul-Adha are the only two important religious events that Muslims get to celebrate, and both events are rooted in historical symbolism. 

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Where Sleeping Girls Lie Book Review
Book Corner, Contemporary, Diverse Books, Home, Mystery & Thriller, Own Voices, Reviews, Young Adult

Book Review: Where Sleeping Girls Lie by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

I became a die-hard fan of Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé ever since I picked up her debut novel, Ace of Spades a couple years ago and absolutely fell in love with the way she tells the story of queer, colored teens in the YA thriller/mystery genre. When I heard about her new book Where Sleeping Girls Lie earlier this year, I knew it would be a masterpiece just like her last novel.

And as it is in most cases, I was 100% right. 

Where Sleeping Girls Lie Book Review

Flawlessly intriguing, intense and riveting, Where Sleeping Girls Lie is not just another dark academia mystery–it’s a hauntingly beautiful story about girlhood and survival. 

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Most Anticipated Books Releasing During The Second Half of 2024
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Most Anticipated Books Releasing During the Second Half of 2024

It’s strange to think that we are already halfway done with 2024! The past 6 months have been an amazing year in books so far, and I am incredibly excited for the books coming out during the second half of 2024.

~ Top 7 Books Releasing During The Second Half Of 2024 ~

Most Anticipated Books Releasing During The Second Half of 2024

This time for my list, I have tried to cover as many genres as I can…and I have to say, the lineup looks fantastic! Here are my most anticipated books releasing during the second half of 2024.

P.S: Looking for books that were recently released? Check out this post on the most anticipated book releases from the FIRST half of 2024 here.

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Favorite Books and Movies on Healing
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Favorite Books And Movies On Healing

Film and literature (or any kind of art really) have always played a big role in shaping the way we experience not just the world around us, but our own lives too. And while healing is a complex, continuous and non-linear journey, after certain personal tragedies that I faced earlier this year, I couldn’t help but fall back on some of my most favorite books and movies on healing to help me push through.

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A Tempest Of Tea
Book Corner, Home, Reviews, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Young Adult

Book Review: A Tempest Of Tea (Blood and Tea#1) by Hafsah Faizal

One of my favorite things about fantasy novels is how it can serve as a medium to look closely at stories of colonization, and the impact of its damage that can be still felt today even after generations have passed. So of course when I heard about Hafsa Faizal’s A Tempest of Tea, I had it on my list of most anticipated books to read in 2024

Banner for A Tempest of Tea book review

I mean, it’s got everything that I absolutely adore. Fantasy heist? Check. A scathing criticism of colonization and white privilege? Check. Ragtag group of misfits who become each other’s found family? Check. A badass gunslinger? Check. Hot, artistic vampires? Also, check.

With all that said, you’d think I’d be in love by now, right? Unfortunately, even though A Tempest of Tea was a fun, fast-paced novel with an intriguing plot, it just missed the mark for me, and I blame it mostly on the story being rushed too quickly. Here’s my full review.

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A banner showing top 5 pride books that have been featured in the post.
Book Corner, Home, Other Bookish Stuff, Top 10 Tuesday

Top 5 Pride Books I Have Read

As a semi-closeted bisexual woman, it makes my heart so happy to see people celebrate their truest, authentic selves during Pride Month. At the same time, it makes me wonder if I would ever have the luxury to do the same someday. For now, I make myself happy by doing the one thing that brings me joy: reading pride books where I see people like me shine centerstage.

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Grief And Other Uncomfortable Things
Home, Stray Thoughts

Grief And Other Uncomfortable Things

Trigger Warning: This post discusses the death of a friend.

It’s more than just a little difficult to write these thoughts down, so I’ll do the best I can and leave it as it is, so that a future version of me can come back and read this post and see how far I have come.

If I thought 2023 was hard, well 2024 has been tougher. It seems that ever since the year started, I have been dealing with one blow after another.

But one that really pushed me off the axis was the death of a dear friend last month.

It was so unexpected, but I suppose in these cases, a loss like that is never really foreseen. Still, I cannot help but think of all the future plans we had made, all the things we said we would do and put off for later.

Except now, none of those things will ever come to be.

I am grateful for everyone who gave me the time and space I needed to heal. And I am grateful for the people in my life who I grew closer to during the whole ordeal. I lost my friend, but before he left, he made sure that I would be surrounded by some of the softest, kindest souls to ever walk on this planet.

And I know that even though we are all moving forward with our lives every day, his memory is still alive in our minds. We keep putting one foot in front of the other, we go live our daily routines and do what needs to be done because time never stops for anyone. But even as we do, we remember him in every little thing–when we try a new Indian place downtown, when we win a business competition, when we go somewhere or new cook up something special for dinner.

Every time I find myself hesitating to do something out of my comfort zone, I ask myself what he would do.

And I guess in this way, he still lives on.