It’s good to be back (again).
I had a rough start to this year, so I really needed the
break. I won’t lie, I always feel strangely guilty whenever I take a break from
blogging. It feels almost sacrilege, which is absurd because this is just a
blog. This is just my own tiny bubble on the internet, where I feel almost
completely at ease to share whatever is on my mind. There is a comfort in
knowing that I can express my thoughts freely from behind a screen, where no
one who knows me in real life would try to interpret the meaning of my words
just so they can fit me in the narrative they’ve written for me.
That sounds harsher than I intended it to. What I really
mean is that when you interact with someone in person, you form an impression
of them. And even if your first impressions are not your lasting impressions,
you will still unconsciously try to fit them in a stereotype, or at the very
least you will unintentionally put labels on them, for no other reason than it
helps you make sense of that person better. We are all guilty of this to some
extent, but here, on this blog, I don’t have to be afraid of being labelled. Of
being finite.
I have personal issues with being labelled, but that’s a
story for later.
As I was saying—I was meaning to return to blogging in
January and then in February, but given how things were going for me I realized
that It just wasn’t the right time yet. One of the most important lessons I
learned last year is prioritizing. This year, after losing a friend, after
watching my father’s health deteriorate day by day (and realizing that part of
his carelessness about his own health is because of his mental health issues),
opening a bakery which comes with its own equal share of excitement and stress,
starting my final year at university, dealing with my own mental health, and a
million other things…yeah blogging was not my priority.
Looking back at my younger self though, I have to admit, I
am doing much better than I have had in years. Despite everything, I am coping,
and definitely knowing what needs to be done first has helped me a lot.
I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are reading
this, and you are disappointed in yourself for not being able to follow
whatever plans you have set for yourself to the dot—then take a deep breath
and stop. You don’t have to do everything at once. Just focus on what’s truly
important, and try to choose something that brings you joy. Best of luck. You
got this.
